Capitol Records Building Goes Condo – CitiBank Cuts EMI Losses
Is a Vanishing Landmark The Final Nail in the Major Label Coffin?
Moses Avalon
April 1st, 2011, Los Angeles.
In a surprise move yesterday CitiBank, who is in receivership of EMI/Capitol Records, after its parent company Terra Firma defaulted on their loans earlier this year, put the Hollywood landmark, known as the Capitol Records Building up for sale.
The iconic structure, famous for its resemblance to a stack of old-fashioned vinyl records, is where groups like the Beatles signed their first US recording contracts. According to sources, the building will now be remodeled into condos and sold to the highest bidder.
Employees were greeted this morning by security guards and told to vacate within ten days. One VP, who would not give his name said, “They told me I was going to be a star in the company’s galaxy someday. I feel betrayed.”
Los Angeles real estate developer, Anslem O’Neal, told the LA Times that the city has granted him a variance to convert the 13 story tower, currently zoned for commercial use, into 37 luxury residents and two penthouses.
O’Neal made several comments about the building’s renovation, mainly his commitment to make the transition a “green” one, “We plan to reuse and salvage every piece of the original Capitol Records building and re-purpose items for its new tenants.”
O’Neal elaborated:
• Desks of A&R staff will be fashioned into actual built-in beds. “This,” says O’Neal, “is to symbolize the tradition of how desks were actually used in the glory days of the music business.”
• Recording contracts, salvaged from filing cabinets left in the abandoned offices will be treated just like they were during the heyday of the record industry– ground up and recycled as scrap paper.
• Toilets vomited in by top artists, like George Michael, R.E.M., and Radiohead when they were told they still owed EMI money even after several Platinum records, will be salvaged and placed in the EMI Installation in the building’s lobby. New owners will have the opportunity to bid on the toilets for their personal bathrooms.
Even though there will be 13 floors, each resembling an LP and several apartments per floor, in keeping with major label tradition, there will only be one really good apartment on each level. The others will just be filler.
Units will start at $950,000 for a 700 square-foot two bedroom. Cramped by Los Angeles standards.
A preservation group fighting the conversion, told reporters, “Hollywood already has enough small apartments with musicians. They’re called homeless shelters.”
What do you think would be a good use of Capitol Records Building materials? Give an opinion.
BTW, April Fools.
Mo out
29 responses to “Capitol Records Building Goes Condo – CitiBank Cuts EMI Losses”
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If this is not a joke,what about the studio and the famous underground echo chambers? They really can’t do this to a building so famous. You would think the city would step in to save the building, and preserve it as it is.
Genius. Absolutely genius.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Excellent Mo!! =)
ha ha ha ha. You had me going for a second there, until you became obvious! Good one.
What will be the fate of Capitol Recoring Studios?
Sad to say, the building is probably among the most likely candidates in the world to be torn down because it offers so little floor-space relative to the extremely valuable plot of land that it sits on.
I only wish that was joke.
Shit I was wrong. I thought they would turn it in to a Starbucks with a drive thru window
ahahahaha….good one. I was thinking that the building also resembled a stack of Pancakes…Could have been a huge International House of Pancakes Restaurant on the bottom floor..
Genius!
what will they do with all the cases of vaseline they withheld from the artists when they bent them over?
ROFL!
You had me going too, Mo. good times.
One good apartment per floor.. is that the “Master”? Are the others “groovy” anyway? when will they be released? will there be anything on the ceiling on the floor below? It’s fun thinking about. Thanks
LOL! You are GOOD!!!
Wow – talk about the end of an era! I feel so lucky that I had the chance to participate as a chalk artist at John Lennon’s birthday memorial at Capitol Records last year. This is a landmark that will be so missed here in Hollywood. I will miss seeing the christmas tree every year! Thank you always Moses for sharing!
Not funny Mo;-( The scenario and predicament was all too realistic and overwhelmed my common sense about April Fools till the end.
Because people can and still do the dumbest things like an egregious act of disrespect to music history; and it wouldn’t be the first time. Ouch!
Almost had tears in my eyes..scary stuff indeed. Next time pick on a landmark we’d already feel good about desecrating – like the blue Scientology crackerbox on Hollyweird Blvd. Now we’re talking April Fools…
Luvya Mo, keep the faith.
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Great April Fools – you really got me with this one!
Will the building rotate at 33 &1/3 or 45 RPM;
so all units have a 360 degree view? 😉
Total delayed response here on the April Fools day joke! Did you notice that your blog got picked up by a few other AP style sites creating quite a buzz! With all that has happened with Tower, Wherehouse and Columbia Records I was completely convinced! 😀
[…] Moses Avalon reported: In a surprise move yesterday CitiBank, who is in receivership of EMI/Capitol Records, after its parent company Terra Firma defaulted on their loans earlier this year, put the Hollywood landmark, known as the Capitol Records Building up for sale. […]
Look artists never got screwed over, they had tens of millions spent on them and that is why they got famous,
that is what it takes to blow up a artist, 5MM minimum per quarter, if you only make back 7MM in the year you are screwed, so you hope that you can make 40MM in year 3, and at that time the artist will have sold 10MM records, toured the globe and all is well
well it would be except for the fact that a small handful of artists blow up like that, the other 99% mess up and fade to darkness,
🙂
and to think some of these comments prove that the articled was skimmed through. should of at least skipped to the end lol.
im a little late for this one but still funny! great joke
“Desks of A&R staff will be fashioned into actual built-in beds” This is hilarious Mo! Here is an idea: Why not add a roller coast around the needle on top of the building – Vegas style! LOL
“Toilets vomited in by top artists” Damn you Moses, I believed all of it entirely right until the end. Haha
haha, totally got me. Reading an april fools day post 9 months after the actual day is not a good idea. My skepticism shield was down, not fair. 🙂
Classic April Fools, just stumbled on this one again a few years later!! love it
I really believed this until I got to the comments section and realised it was written on April 1st. Sneaky post!
Omgosh! You got me! I was thinking to myself “This all sounds so ridiculous!” Thanks for the laugh!